How Would You Like Your Brains?

Scrambled.

I can’t seem to focus today, so here are a bunch of semi-unconnected thoughts.

I’m making four vegan meals this week for my vegan friend who’s vegan visiting. Vegan. Two down, and nobody died.

I thought an alien landed in our front yard late last night, but it turns out it was just Jenny’s friend on a bicycle wearing a homemade rain suit he had fashioned from several trash bags.

Speaking of hazmat suits, Jenny has asked me to point out to everyone everywhere that even though it was cancelled, Better Off Ted is a good show. Hear that, Bailey? Stop watching Dexter and start watching BOT.

Gary scared the crap out of me last night by sneaking up and talking to me through an open window I was sitting in front of, causing me to scream and risk destroying our very expensive laptop by throwing it into the air...because if there’s an intruder, the best way to scare him off is to throw whatever you’re holding straight up into the air – not at him. Never at him.

A four inch memory foam mattress topper seems like a really good idea. It’s not. When you first sit down on your bed, you’ll think you’re living that scene from The Little Mermaid where she sits on the side of the bed with her new legs and just sinks in, but when you wake up in the morning, there will not be a sassy Jamaican crab on your bedside table and you will not be feeling like P Diddy. You will be feeling like your bed is trying to swallow you whole, and it will take years of chiropractic therapy for your spine to return to its normal shape.

The O.C. – Season 1 – Episode 5: Some kid gets shot in the arm. THINGS JUST GOT REAL.

I bought myself some organic butternut squash soup to have for lunch. I distinctly remember thinking it looked appetizing at the store, but now that I’m at my desk and it’s almost lunchtime, I find myself craving some Arby’s sauce, perhaps with a roast beef sandwich on the side.