Apparently, Gary's time while I was away was a little more eventful than he let on.
Every time I spoke to him on the phone, I'd ask him how his day was, what was going on, etc., and every time he'd say, "Oh, things are good...nothing's really going on except that I miss you so much I'm not sure I'm gonna survive until you get home." (I may have taken a little artistic license there.)
As it turns out, quite a bit happened that he failed to mention, like, I don't know...the fact that our house almost burned down, then it almost got blown up, and a house full of my friends almost died.
I'm only really exaggerating in one of these cases, and that's the one concerning our house almost burning to the ground. Gary nonchalantly mentioned last night that, "Oh hey, did you know if you leave the burner on the stove on all night it shuts itself off?"
The other two things were actually serious.
First, Sarah's roommates found out they had carbon monoxide leaking into their house. They all survived because Jesus loves them. Also I love them. (That doesn't have anything to do with why they survived; I just thought it was worth mentioning.)
Gary totally knew about this, and he totally did not tell me. (I'm guessing because he knew I'd suggest that the four girls come stay in our two bedroom house with him and Brutus...which surely would have been awkward and uncomfortable for all. Whatever, four girls can totally fit in a queen sized bed if they sleep sideways.)
Last and most disturbing, it turns out the guy who lives four or five houses down from us turned on his gas and was threatening to blow up his house. Gary happened to take Brutus for a walk around that time, and found himself looking at several cop cars and a firetruck just down the street.
He asked the policemen if it was okay for him to be in our house, and when he showed them which one was ours they were kinda like, "Eh...you might wanna keep a little more distance than that." Hey, thanks for the warning, guys. (Just like you warned us when the house next to us went up in flames...oh wait! You didn't!)
So Gary spent most of the day hanging out with the guys on the other side of the crackhouse who, by the way, seem to spend most to all of their time outside. I don't know why they don't just move all their living room furniture out there. I'd like to see them out there around mid-winter, decked out in parkas and long johns, huddled around the tv set watching a football game like those penguins at the beginning of Beakman's World.