Eww, not the online auction site! I was referring to E. Bailey Sterling of course because it's her BIRTHDAY!
1. I don't just love her because it's her birthday.
2. She is extremely good looking. Don't take my word for it; see for yourself!
3. She's married to the first man Gary Gray ever loved - and the flame still burns on.
4. Together, she and her husband have manufactured what might be the most adorable baby I've ever seen...who is sometimes dressed as a chicken.
5. There are 23 pictures of Bailey and me on Facebook, the most precious of which is this one:
6. She does an amazing Russian accent. I can't even tell you how amazing.
7. When we met, I thought for sure she was too cool to love me. I was right, but then she went ahead and loved me anyway.
8. She taught me how to make sushi, which is why I am and forever shall be in her debt.
9. She loves animals.
Just kidding! That wasn't a real animal! But this is.
10. She also loves The Cosby Show.
11. She's smarter than me. Also probably you. But you won't even care once you meet her because you'll be too busy thinking about how awesome she is.
12. One time this happened.
13. Also this.
14. Also all of these.
15. Not only will she not be disturbed or horrified that I Facebook stalked the CRAP out of her in order to obtain all these pictures; she will probably be flattered and/or deeply touched because she understands that Facebook stalking is the new imitation. (In that...it's the...sincerestformofflattery. Get it? Get it???)