Monday, February 14, 2011

Raise Your Hand If... got asked out in the grocery store this weekend.

You guys can't see it, but Sarah's raising her hand. (Actually, I'm holding it up for her as she tries desperately to find a hole to crawl into so she can hide her face, which is now a deep crimson.)

It all went down at the seafood counter at King Soopers. I was buying Alaskan king crab because I like to eat like I'm rich. When Gary lets me. Which is only on Valentine's Day. I could tell the young man standing next to me was staring intently at my sister, but I didn't think much of it as that kind of thing tends to happen a lot when you spend most of your time with someone who's really, really, ridiculously good looking.

Eventually I saw him move closer to her and I could tell they were talking, but I couldn't make out much of what they were saying. Luckily Sarah filled me in once we were safely in the car. He had told her he liked her hat and asked if it kept her warm; she said not really. He asked some form of come here often? and she said yes. I'm sure he said some more stuff, but she was too busy blushing to be expected to remember every outpouring of love she received on this Valentine's weekend. When he eventually got to the point and asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime, she did the kind thing and told him sorry, but she had a boyfriend. (She doesn't. But that seems to be the best way to turn someone down without unnecessary injury to his or her pride. In her defense, the guy had kinda backed her into a corner, so she really had no choice but to compulsive-lie her way out of it.)

Plus, I feel the need to point out, she doesn't know a thing about this guy...other than his preference for honey-jalapeno shrimp. Does he love Jesus? Does he practice good hygiene? Does he share her dream of one day owning two Corgis on a treadmill? WHO KNOWS?! He could be a thief, a serial killer, a Creed fan...any number of things. And furthermore, how is he to know that SHE isn't any of those things? I'm sure we could all argue all day long about how attraction is a key element in developing a relationship...but I don't feel like it should be the sole foundation. Maybe I'm just overly cautious, but I feel like you should at least know SOMETHING about a person before agreeing to go on a date with them, lest you discover too late that their bedroom is wallpapered with posters of Nicholas Cage.

So in the end, I give the guy fifty points for having the courage to approach, chat up, and request a date with a beautiful stranger...but unfortunately I have to turn around and dock him seventy-five for failing to consider that since this all happened at the beginning of the store, they would undoubtedly run into each other and be forced to awkward it up for the remainder of the shopping trip.

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