a) I like her a lot.
b) Due to circumstances beyond her control, she will not be visiting this weekend as planned, and that sucks.
c) Her birthday fell on President's Day this year - and you all know how seriously I take President's Day - so somehow, she did not get a birthday post.
So without further ado, here's Theresa's birthday slash hope-this-makes-up-for-that-stupid-girl-who-messed-up-your-work-and-made-you-miss-your-vacation list of ten.
1. She's prettyyyyyyy. See? (Anybody else think she looks a little bit like Topanga? Anyone?)
2. She's a lover, not a fighter. She is one of the most generous people I know - and I know a lot of people. She sponsors like thirty World Vision kids (okay maybe not thirty...but at least three) and they're always sending her pictures of the goat they were able to buy or the new roof they put on their house thanks to her donations. She also loves animals...even when they're disgusting stray cats who are mean and ugly and named MacGyver. What can I say? She has a big heart. Really, really big. Like big enough to clean up cat puke. Which leads me to my next point.
3. She has the cutest dog EVER. Her name is Darcy and Theresa rescued her a couple weeks ago. I haven't met her yet but look how cuuuuute! And from everything I hear she's also a sweetie pie. When Theresa went to the SPCA, all the dogs in the place were barking it up except for sweet little Darcy, who was just sitting there patiently waiting to be loved. And now she is!
4. She's a bit of a smarty pants. Apparently it wasn't enough for her to be the only one of us who finished college. Nooo, she had to go even farther and get a master's in accounting and become a CPA. I'm not even jealous, 'cause that just means when I'm old and withered and poor and Gary's gone (killed in a fiery helicopter crash while heroically saving a baby), I'll go live in her giant house and she can support me.
5. She's a tough guy. (I know it seems like I'm contradicting number two* here...but you'll recover.) Back when she was in high school and I was just a nerdy middle school kid, I was perpetually in awe of her terrible power and badassness. She listened to Pantera and Rage Against the Machine and she had a wicked scar on the back of her hand that she got from a knife fight.** She scared the crap out of me and I wanted to be just like her, which is why I repeatedly borrowed her clothes without asking and then blamed it on Sarah since she was Theresa's favorite and therefore less likely to be killed.
6. She is the dancing queen. Normally, she's pretty reserved, but get a couple adult beverages in her and she is a boogie MACHINE.
7. Her name is cool. One time when we were younger, she gave Greg a book for Christmas or some other gift-giving holiday and she said, "If you look at the top, you'll always remember who gave it to you." That was the day my brain exploded because it couldn't process how cool my sister was.
And it gets cooler still! Her first name is actually Mary, and our cousin Anthony used to say, "Mary Theresa Howrey? No way, she's my cousin!" You can imagine my chubby little self wondering if I would ever be as cool as they were. (SPOILER ALERT: Fifteen years later and I'm still not.)
8. She laughs at everything I say. This has nothing to do with why I love her so much, but it certainly doesn't hurt.
9. She could probably beat you up. She won't, 'cause like I said she's not a fighter...I'm just saying she could 'cause she's a workout machine.***
10. I LOVE HER. She's the best big sister ever! I still look up to her just like I always have, except now we're friends so I'm not so scared.
*Hehe. Number two.
**Either that or she poured boiling water on it. I'm pretty sure it was the knife fight though.
***Despite the fact that I've referred to her as a "machine" several times in this post, I just want to make it clear that she is not actually a dancing exercise robot.