Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Zombies Can't Get No Satisfaction

This morning I find myself feeling a great deal of sympathy for zombies. Vampires, werewolves, aliens - they're getting all kinds of action, but I think it's time we all stopped to ask ourselves: Where is the zombie love?

This all started because Samantha got that expertly written Katy Perry song stuck in my head. Kanye's part is where it gets especially ingenious.

I know a bar out in Maaaaaars
Where they drivin' spaceships insteada caaaaars

Bravo, Kanye. Bra. Vo.

So now the question is who is going to step up and write a zombie love song? Since I like you guys so much, I'll not keep you in suspense too long. The answer is me.

So here it is: the not-very-long-awaited debut of the lyrics to the greatest zombie love song of all time.

Verse 1:
They say I'm insane but I knew from the start
You came for my brains but you captured my heart
You look like you're prepared for my lobotomy
I know I should be scared but you still got-a me

Your arm fell off but you don't even care
You're lookin' so hot with your dead-eyed stare
My ex is a loser who still lives with his mom
But your crib is a grave and I think it's the bomb

You're a zombie but I don't care
Your brain may be gone but your heart's still there
You're a zombie but I don't care
Your brain may be gone but your heart's still there

Verse 2:
Vampires suck and werewolves bite
Aliens are ugly and their fingers glow bright
My man eats brains and they keeps him strong
Your man's a vegetarian and that's just wrong

I wrote this zombie song to let the whole world know
I love my zombie man; I'll never let him go
So to all of you haters who don't like what I said
You better step off - my boyfriend's back from the dead

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