Reasons Why I'm the Worst

Well really it's just one reason.

Last night Sarah went to see Tally Hall in Denver with our friend Daniel who's been visiting for the past few days. I knew she'd be out late so I texted her to tell her which shift we were going to be working today. (I work one of two shifts: early, which is 7:45 to 4:15, or late, which is 8:30 to 5. Sarah just works whichever shift I'm working because I said so.)

It's also worth mentioning that Sarah has been coming into work at 6am the past two days so that she could leave early and hang out with Daniel, or Dirty D as I prefer to call him. They got back from the concert at around 12:30, so at this point you can imagine that she's pretty tired.

This morning I woke up to my cell phone ringing at 7:22am. Below is a transcript of the conversation that followed.

Me: "Hmmmplmmgghhph?"

Sarah: "Hey, I'm here."

Me: "Why?"

Sarah: "To pick you up for work."

Me: "We're the late shift."

Sarah: "No, you texted me last night that we were the early shift."

Me: "Are you sure? 'Cause we're the late shift."

Sarah: "I'm looking at the text message right now. It says early shift, motha*****"

Me: "Huh. Well we're the late shift."

Sarah: "Well...I'm...still here."

Me: "Uhh...well...you wanna come in and take a nap in the guest room while I get ready?"

Sarah: "I would like nothing more than to come in and take a nap in the guest room."

And that is the story of how I came to owe Sarah one million sleep dollars.

THE END

*****fatha. What did you think it meant?!?