Thursday, August 26, 2010

Cats Are...People Too?

I just finished Mockingjay and I can’t talk about it because I want to tell you everything.

Instead, here are a couple of things that both fascinate and terrify me.

1. Cat Appetizers

I ask you, who on EARTH is buying this stuff?

Every cat I’ve ever met was morbidly obese, and if it wasn’t, it was only because it had contracted some sort of parasite that was hogging all its nutrients. But you know what would be a good idea? Feeding them more.

Now let’s hear from one of our many satisfied customers.

“Three meals a day, well...that just wasn’t cutting it for my little poopsie woopsie. She is a fine feline specimen who exudes elegance and perfection. She deserves the best this world has to offer, and until they come up with a way for cats to shoot laser beams out of their eyes that would kill on contact, thereby finally allowing cats to carry out all their evil cat agendas in a timely and efficient manner, the best this world has to offer is appetizers for cats. I don’t mind the fact that feeding her these extra “mini-meals” guarantees she’ll be vomiting all over my carpet on a more frequent basis; in fact, I’m happy to oblige. Maybe if I continue to pamper her beyond recognition, someday she’ll deign to squeeze a few seconds’ genuine affection into her busy schedule of alternately ignoring me and scratching my face.”

2. This commercial, which doesn't seem to fit on my blog very well, but right now my brain hurts and I just don't care.

Hang on...were those dancing turkeys?
I don’t even know how to respond to either of these, but this lady sure did. Way to go, cat food manufacturers. You caused this.


Whitney said...

That woman JUST did that! I've been put in a dumpster before and I will tell you that it is neither comfortable nor easy to "wriggle out of".

You know...experts say that people who abuse cats are more likely to become murderers. I'm just saying...

mrs.fitz said...

I don't even know what to say to that commercial, I mean aren't the turkeys, cows, and fish-boat all there because the cat is going to eat them up in his Friskies meal?