Safety Dance

My beautiful and talented friend Sam brought something to my attention after yesterday’s post.

Doesn't she look beautiful? And talented?

“Your friends in Texas who read this probably think you live in like the worst neighborhood ever.”

I’d like to set the record straight. Although for a time we did have one set of neighbors who enjoyed cooking meth in the basement…my neighborhood is awesome and totally safe.

Join me as I take you on a tour of the Magical World of DoToCo Springs. (That’s our special cool kid slang for Downtown Colorado Springs. No I did not just make that up! Yes I did.)

This is my house.

It’s held together with Marshmallow Fluff and painted with gumdrops!

This is the view from my front yard. And no, your eyes are not playing tricks on you; that really IS a Volvo!

Everything’s just a little bit fancier here.

This is the median.

Those trees taste like pancakes. Go ahead, have a lick!

This is the house on the corner. And there on the right is a statue of Jesus playing baseball with a sign that says “He’s going nine for America.” It’s Jesus! Depicted in a totally non-ironic manner!

How much safer could this place get?!

This is the park where I once saw a dude throwing knives I sometimes avoid because it’s just TOO safe and unscary for me to handle!

Um…I guess I should stop here, because my best friend who lives a couple blocks over just called and told me someone broke into her car last night and stole her purse. Turns out no matter how awesome you are, some people still have the gall to shatter your car window with a rock. I mean, just look how awesome she is!

If something like this could happen to Leah Armstrong...no one is safe. NO ONE!

Leah: I hope you can forgive me for having "Bust Your Windows" stuck in my head ever since you called me this morning. I blame Glee.