Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I feel like it's high time for another numbered here are ten reasons why winter in Colorado is the best.

1. You can leave bottled beverages out on the back porch. This is first on the list because it is hands down the best thing about Colorado winters. No more 30 packs of PBR crowding your condiments and making you look like an alcoholic! (Although now it appears I've cancelled out the benefits of this by mentioning it first...)

2. The hope of a snow day. Sure, it'll probably never happen. But just the knowledge that there's even the slightest chance I might get a free day off work is enough to keep me going through the entire winter. (Not that I even mind coming to work. I love my job, but until I can work in my pajamas or while sleeping, given the choice I'd always choose staying home.)

3. Everyone is a terrible driver. Oh, not you. Just everyone else on the road. The joy of discussing how all Colorado drivers are idiots is both fun and reassuring, and it only gets better when you add ice. (Nevermind the fact that ninety percent of the population is made up of transplants, which would suggest that a) no accurate generalizations can be made concerning the driving aptitude of native Coloradans, and/or b) there are idiots everywhere. Even in Colorado.)

4. Buttershot Chocolate. This time of year it just feels right. Every night. I swear I'm not an alcoholic.

5. The lone wolf. Watching Brutus play in the snow feels like watching a wild animal in his natural habitat.

6. I look exponentially cuter in the winter. It makes sense, because with so many extra clothes to be worn - hats, jackets, earmuffs, facemasks, gloves, scarves, etc. - you're bound to end up looking cuter than you did when you woke up. (Wait, facemasks? How did that get in there? Well, might as well show you a few of my, here and here.)

7. Ice dancing. Oh not like sequins on ice skates. I was referring to the impromptu performances that are always to be enjoyed whenever you step outside. Careful though, 'cause chances are, if you're not some sort of super-graceful mutant species, you'll become the entertainment at one time or another.

8. It's prime dieting time. Trust me on this. If you start dieting now while everyone else is packing on the holiday pounds, you will not only look better by comparison, but you'll also send all your friends and family into a jealous rage, which after all is what the holidays are all about. Go on, little piggies, that's right. Have another piece of pie. You take those extra inches of insulation and I'll take my sense of personal triumph, and we'll just see who stays warmer at night.

9. It's so dark out, I have an excuse to sleep 12 hours a day. This one pretty much speaks for itself.

10. Mariah Carey's Merry Christmas. Stop judging me. Just stop. I will forever consider this the best Christmas album of all time. It makes me feel alive. If you happen to be standing next to me when I hear it, prepare to be hugged. Hard.

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