Yeah, I did it. And I'd do it again! In fact, I'm sure I WILL do it again! AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME! NO ONE!!!
Well...except maybe the movie theater employees. They're the ones who stopped me last night, anyway. They think they're so tough with their nametags and their flashlights...well you know what, theater employees? You can take the Diet Dr Pepper I snuck in, but you'll never take my SOURPATCH KIDS! Probably because you didn't see them, as they were stuffed deep into the recesses of my cupholder.
I'm not gonna lie, I was ashamed. Especially because the girl who came and offered to dispose of our contraband was the same girl we had purchased our tickets from just minutes earlier.
I thought we were friends, Dollar Theater Girl! We had a few laughs, didn't we? When you asked if we wanted to donate a dollar to charity, did we hesitate? No! We handed over our hard earned money with smiling enthusiasm!* It's as if you don't even care that the way I said your name just now implies that you have some sort of super powers! But will you use those powers for good? No, I fear you will not. I can see now that wherever you go, you will leave a bloody trail of thirst and betrayal in your wake.
The good news is, you can't ruin Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I. No one can. Not you; not He Who Must Not Be Named; not even Daniel Radcliffe, try as he might to be the worst actor on the planet.
*And by that of course I mean we handed over Sarah's hard earned money with smiling enthusiasm. Whatever. I just got robbed.