You're Not Cool Unless You Cry In Public

Which makes me SUPER COOL, 'cause I do it ALL THE TIME.

There's really nothing like crying in front of a stranger to make you wanna crawl into a hole and never come out. Wait, yes there is! Crying in front of NOT a stranger -- just somebody you see all the time and don't really know that well!

This is all hypothetical of course.

For example, let's say yesterday I hypothetically lost it in front of five or six coworkers...one of whom (the only man in the room) was made visibly uncomfortable and sought to cover it up by suddenly becoming very interested in the spot of carpet he was standing on. I really can't say I blame him. I can say that I'll be changing the time I go to lunch from now on so as to avoid bumping into him in the lunchroom.

Or maybe we could say, for argument's sake, that I cried in front of one of the ladies who works at my chiropractor's office the first day I met her. That was cool, because since I now have a standing weekly appointment, I get to look her in the face every Monday and wonder if she still thinks I'm a crazy person despite my efforts to act as normal as possible around her.

Here's a non-hypothetical: Samantha and Paul (my two officemates) are officially the coolest.* In the year and a half or so we've worked together, I'd say I've probably cried six or seven hundred times. At this point it doesn't even phase them anymore. They've actually developed an extremely effective plan of action: Paul looks at me with his head tilted to the side and gives me a verbal pat on the shoulder while Samantha provides the nonverbal autism hug. Works every time.

So I'm thinking of setting up a meeting including Sam, Paul, a certain accountant, and a certain chiropractic receptionist so that they can sit down and discuss the fact that I'm not actually a mental patient.

THE END

*Not because they cried in public.