Monday, April 18, 2011

Statuses? Statii? Stat-stop-anonymous?

I'm back!

Instead of writing a big long catch up, I'll fill you in on my last few days through a series of Facebook status updates and/or tweets I would have posted if I'd had the time and/or didn't think twitter was the dumbest thing ever.

Wednesday, April 13th

6:00am Aaaaand we're off!

11:24am I didn't realize Jerry Jeff Walker would be joining us on this road's gonna be a long day.

3:15pm And the award for Gas Station Bathroom Most Likely to Appear in a Horror Movie goes to...

8:06pm Which do I care about more - losing weight or cheddar bay biscuits? Judging by the buttery crumbs on my shirt, I'm gonna have to go with the latter.

10:30pm I wanna be Carly Geiger when I grow up. Dat girl makes BANK.

Thursday, April 14th

6:45am Gary, when describing Theresa's dog: "Cute as the dickens"

2:23pm Two words Three words Two words One hyphenated and one regular word: Air-conditioned nap.

7:38pm In one fell swoop, Love & War in Texas has managed to simultaneously ruin my diet and complete my life.

Friday, April 15th

9:13am Alcohol at 9am? Why not. This is Texas.

1:14pm Said goodbye to a good man this afternoon.

2:05pm How does the American Legion end a memorial service? The way everyone should - with fried chicken and more alcohol.

Saturday, April 16th

8:46am One of my old youth kids works at the coffee shop where I had my first job. Paige, if you're reading this, just remember: The discounted lattes may be delicious, but they'll never fill the void your boss has chomped out of your soul. Go work at Taco D. You'll smell like Mexican food when you get home, but you'll be so! much! happier!

11:32am I'm gonna make a quilt! Look at this faaaaabriiiiiiiiiic! (Oh hey mom...hope you're prepared for me to call you every hour on the hour for instructions.)

3:53pm Perhaps this little trip to the SPCA was not the best idea I've ever had. All these puppies wanna come home with me!

Sunday, April 17th

7:28am Nobody makes french toast like Tim Howrey makes french toast.

8:04am Just found $200 in my sunglasses case as I was driving away from my parents' house. This kind of thing tends to happen when you have as much cash as we do your parents are sneaky slash awesome (or snawesome for all you hip young word mashers out there).

4:16pm I have a great idea for a new show! It's Always Cloudy in New Mexico. Meat processing plants and road construction 'til the cows come home - to the meat processing plants! Reality TV at its finest.

8:39pm Well whaddya know? We went to Texas and nobody stole any of our belongings while we were gone!

10:40pm This moving away business has some strange effects. No matter where I am, I perpetually feel both homesick and at home.

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