Wednesday, April 6, 2011

A Whole New Level of Fail

I guess this was just the weekend that wouldn't quit, because I have yet ANOTHER weekend story to tell! I don't know if you're aware of how unusual that is, but allow me to enlighten you: My weekends usually consist of a series of meals and naps on Saturday followed by a hellacious grocery trip to Walmart on Sunday, after which I like to shoot myself with a low-dose tranquilizer dart and then wonder where all my free time went.

After getting a TV on Saturday, I felt like I should balance things out with a new bookshelf so I could keep pretending to be smarter than everyone. (Never mind that we're going to use the bookshelf as a shoe rack.) I bought one for fifteen bucks at Walmart, which is pretty awesome considering the ugly metal shoe racks were closer to twenty. This version would be far classier, and all it needed was a little assembly.

When I bought it, the assembly part didn't even phase me since I have an incredibly handy man living in my house. But Sunday morning he was working on a car with a friend, so I decided to tackle the project myself. How hard could it be?

How hard indeed. Time for a little unsolicited advice: If you find yourself asking that question, chances are it's too hard.

I can't tell you how proud I was of myself. I've never tried to put anything like this together, but I was following the ambiguously wordless instructions after only having read over them twenty seven times; using a Phillips head screwdriver AND a hammer (and knowing the difference, thankyouverymuch); and all this without permanently fastening any part of my clothing and/or body to the bookshelf.

I hammered twenty tiny nails into the back of the shelf, and then all that was left to do was stand it upright and install the shelves, which I knew would be the easiest part since you just use those little...what are they called? Oh yes, "metal sticky-out things" that just slide into the pre-drilled holes.

I flipped it right side up, took a step back to admire my handiwork, and...

"SHbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!"

1 comment:

Whitney said...

Bahahahaha! That happened once at our house but the person responsible shall remain nameless (Hint: It wasn't me, it wasn't Wellington, and his name starts with an E...and ends in ric)*.

Bet you're really good at carefully removing nails so as not to rip the wood-like cardboard, huh? I know I am.

*It was Eric.