Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Boob Tube? That's Offensive.

I didn't get a chance to tell you guys about the addition we made to our family over the weekend on account of all the crime fighting yesterday. But yes, the rumors are true: We are no longer stuck in the Dark Ages.

It all started on Wednesday when I came home to find a PlayStation 2 on my dining room table. Where did it come from? Was this some kind of reverse-robbery where as a cruel joke they leave stuff in your house that you don't have the equipment to hook up or enjoy? Yeah, robbers (or...un...robbers?), we get it. We don't have a TV. This is very funny and also painful.

Surprisingly enough, my guess was incorrect. Gary's friend from work had brought it over because, after hearing about the no TV situation, he was convinced we were Amish. Unfortunately this brought us no closer to the 21st century since the adapter we would have needed to hook it up to our ghettotainment center runs around fifty bucks, which (SURPRISE!) we didn't have. I was confused as to why Gary hadn't just given the system back until I spotted the games sitting next to it. Then everything made sense. Ace Combat 4 and 5 were sitting there, quietly biding their time until the inevitable moment they could strike and begin sucking my husband's life away, several consecutive hours at a time.

Which brings me back to Saturday morning. Gary found a 32-inch TV on Craigslist for twenty bucks, so we decided to go for it. We rearranged our living room furniture to accommodate our new baby and posted an ad so we could sell the old one.*

I don't know when we got to this point, but now whenever we realize we haven't used something in a couple weeks, our eyeballs turn into giant dollars signs and we both turn to each other and exclaim in unison, "LET'S SELL IT!!!" That snowboard Gary bought when we moved here 'cause he mistakenly thought he'd be able to afford a ski pass ever? SELL IT! The china we got for our wedding? SELL IT! Naming rights to our first born child? ALREADY SOLD to some dude we met at the Tillamook cheese factory in Oregon. I know Stinky McCheese Gray is a little out there, but what can I say? The price was right. Plus I can almost guarantee there won't be any other kids in her class named Stinky. (Juuust kidding. We'd never force a girl to go through life with a name like Stinky. If it's a girl, her first name will be Curdy. We felt McCheese was androgynous enough to work as a middle name either way.)

I swear we're not on crack. But the guy we bought the TV from TOTALLY was. When we pulled up to the house to pick it up, Gary locked both doors, put on his dad voice and told me to stay in the truck.

And that is the story of why I never saw Gary again.


*We're asking $150 OBO for our 22 inch LG Flatron monitor. We'd really like it if the BO was around a hundred bucks if anyone's interested. Mention the blog and we'll throw in a free color printer!

We're throwing in the printer anyway; I just really like it when people mention the blog.

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