Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Parental Discretion Advised

My parents were here this weekend and it was awesome as usual. My mom helped me pick out fabric for curtains for my entire house...and when I say "helped me" I mean she paid for all of it because I'm a poor kid. I should also point out that she did all the math required to calculate the correct yardage because, judging by the brainsplosion that occurred when I tried to figure it out, apparently I'm also a stupid kid.

Meanwhile my dad spent the weekend making sure I had a healthy fear of grizzly bears after I made the mistake of telling him we had some friends who had a problem with bears getting into their trash. I told him I was sure they were just black bears, but he went on to assure me that there are probably grizzlies in Colorado and those grizzlies are probably going to track me down and eat me for lunch, and even if I try to play dead, they'll probably just maul me anyway because grizzlies are effing crazy and they love killing little blonde girls for pleasure.
"They're about 12 feet tall standing on their hind legs, they can outrun a horse, and they climb trees better than any cat. Once one smells you and decides he wants to eat you, there's no escape; you're dead." -Tim Howrey
That's both a direct quote and the source of my recurring nightmares.

1 comment:

Ermine and Pearls said...

I need to meet your dad and shake his hand.