So as you may have heard, I'm lazy. I didn't write a blog for today, but lucky for you I have lots of funny friends to fill in for me when that happens. Leah's dad just joined Facebook, so she's been giving him some guidelines and they've been funny. And here they are! Enjoy!
Rule #1: One Facebook status update a day on average. Some exeptions are permitted (major events, really funny jokes) - but use extreme discretion when posting more than one update a day.
Rule #2: Know the difference between a private message and a wall-post (and know what is appropriate for both). Wall posts include: General well wishes (birthdays, major events), non-specific sentiments (I miss you, Hope you're doing well), funny stories that are not embarrassing and any general link, video or message that you and the recipient are OK with the whole world seeing. Private messages include: Specific inquiries in to the details of someone's life, any conversation lasting more than an initial message and a response, invitations for social outings that include specific details...or any other content that may in ANY way be too personal for the whole internet to read.
Rule #3: Regardless of how angry, outraged or infuriated you are - avoid the all-too-common "Facebook rant". This is a very public, very generalized calling out of whoever or whatever has recently offended you. Everyone reading your Facebook status will think you're talking about them - and will from that point forward treat you with a level of delicacy and trepidation usually reserved for the mentally unstable. However, this rule becomes null and void if you choose to start naming names - everyone loves a good old fashioned train wreck.
Rule #4: Reposting. JUST SAY NO. End of rule. No exceptions.
Rule #5: Though they may be easier and quicker to type, avoid using slang or shortened versions of words (U for you, etc) at all costs. If you cannot fully articulate your thoughts in the full words meant to express them - perhaps you should rethink what you're trying to say.
Rule #6: Posting on someone's on Facebook wall is not the same as calling, texting or even sending an email. The hierarchy of contact is as follows: mass Facebook message (more than one recipient), Facebook wall post, Facebook direct message, message to personal e-mail account, text message, phone call and finally face-to-face contact. If you do not receive a response from a desire method of communication - it is acceptable to escalate your inquiry up the hierarchy. It is NOT acceptable to take offense to any lack of communication at or below the "Facebook direct message" stage. Facebook world is not the real world.
Rule #7: Though it may feel good to receive sympathetic responses from friends and family members - use extreme caution when posting any negative, depressing or generally sad updates unless absolutely necessary (good rule of thumb - once every three to four months). Facebook is not your church newsletter nor is it an avenue to express your displeasure with life's tidings. People will block you from their news feed. Non one cares about your dog/children/life as much as you do. Especially when it's depressing.
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