Hey, wow, that doesn't look too bad! Maybe this winter's not gonna be so bad after a--
THINK AGAIN, WORTHLESS PEON!
OH I'M SORRY, I FORGOT I WAS SPEAKING TO A BRAINLESS INFERIOR. EXCEPT NO I DIDN'T BECAUSE EVERYONE IS MY INFERIOR. AND ALSO I'M NOT SORRY.
Uhhh who are you exactly?
I AM DECEMBER. AND STARTING TOMORROW, I AM THE NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN.
Actually we already have a sheriff...his name is Terry.
IT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH, YOU IGNORANT HALF-WIT.
Wow, you sure are being rude for someone who's interrupting my blog.
THAT'S NOT ALL I'M GOING TO INTERRUPT! HA-HA!
I don't even...what?
I'M GOING TO MAKE YOUR LIFE MISERABLE. NO MORE OF THIS MAMBY-PAMBY LIGHT JACKET WEATHER. I EAT LIGHT JACKETS FOR BREAKFAST.
Oh, do they have a lot of fiber, or...?
Well yes, they do have a great deal of fib-- THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT. THE POINT IS I MEAN BUSINESS. AND I'VE GOT THE FORECAST TO PROVE IT!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOOK HOW SCARED YOU ARE NOW!
Well I mean yeah, the high is only two degrees higher than tonight's low...but I wouldn't say I'm scared exactly. Annoyed with a dash of inconvenienced might be a better description.
WHAT? BUT...IT'S SO...SCARY! NO, YOU ARE SCARED. AND AS PUNISHMENT FOR YOUR REFUSAL TO ADMIT IT, I AM GOING TO PUSH YOU DOWN TOMORROW.
How exactly do you plan to pull that off? You don't even have arms.
I THINK I'LL CALL IN A FAVOR FROM AN OLD FRIEND OF MINE - YOU MAY HAVE HEARD OF HIM - HIS NAME IS THE WIND!!!
Man, December, you're kind of a bully. Don't you watch Glee? All the bullies turn out to be gay.
I'M NOT GAY, I ONLY LIKE THE FEMALE MONTHS. APRIL, MAY AND JUNE.
How's that workin' out for ya? Last time I checked, April looked like she was getting pretty cozy with March...
Well the whole cold-skin thing seems to be really in right now thanks to all those vampire movies, so I was hoping with a little hair gel things might start to go my wa---STOP MAKING ME TALK ABOUT MY FEELINGS! I AM TOUGH AND I WILL DESTROY YOU!
Alright dude. Do whatever.
I WILL DO WHATEVER! WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE YOU FALL DOWN!
Well the joke's on you, 'cause I fall down all the time on my own, so the effect is kind of lost on me.
...WELL YOU'RE STUPID! AND YOUR BLOG IS STUPID! WHAT AM I EVEN STILL DOING HERE?
*stomp stomp stomp....SLAM!*
(Elapsed time: 30 seconds)
Back so soon?
I JUST WANTED TO STATE AGAIN FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM NOT GAY. I LOVE THE FEMALE MONTHS A LOT. MAYBE TOO MUCH IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
I...don't. But whatever you say man.
OKAY I'M GLAD WE CLEARED THAT UP. NOW I AM OUT OF HERE FOR REALSIES.