What I Got (I Said Remember That)

I didn't go out shopping last Friday because I'm not a crazy person, but I did get a few things later in the weekend that I am PRETTY excited about.

First off, THIS GUY:

If you're not impressed, that's just because you can't really tell how BIG IT IS! So for reference, here's a picture of my new GIANT lip smacker next to a regular sized lip smacker:

The other thing I got was ONE HUNDRED PAIRS OF BOOTS!

This just in: Turns out it was only two pairs of boots. But it's still exciting! Mostly because I can never find boots that will fit up over my uh...muscular calves. (It sounds nicer when you say it like it's the muscle that's the problem. We don't like to use the f word around here.)

You know that children's book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie? Well I heard they were coming out with a new one called If You Buy a Girl Two Pairs of Boots, She's Gonna Want Some Skinny Jeans So That Her Regular Jeans Don't Bunch Up All Weird.

And that is the story of how I got my first pair of skinny jeans. Am I cool now???

I thought about showing you a picture of the jeans...but then I remembered that it's weird to put pictures of your butt on the Internet.

THE END