I Shan't Tell My Aunt About the Ants

YOU GUYS.

I have discovered a scandal that is going to BLOW. YOUR. MINDS.

Now I don't have any proof or anything...but I'm pretty sure that Blue Ivy Carter is NOT BEYONCE'S BABY. The real mother? Ashanti.

YOU CAN'T UNSEE THAT.

Poor Beyonce. I can't imagine faking an entire pregnancy just to cover up my shame. (Although, that WOULD explain how she didn't get even the tiniest bit of fat-face during her "pregnancy".)