My Future's So Bright...

I was over at some friends' house last night enjoying a nice dinner out on their back patio. It was around 6:30, so the sun was starting to set, plus their patio is shaded by the neighbor's house, and yet I still had to get up in the middle of a perfectly good conversation (about how they give you Valium when you get Lasik surgery and the light from the laser is apparently the most beautiful thing you've ever seen in your life) to go put on my sunglasses because I realized I was making this face:

Gary would tell you that I have only myself to blame because I've worn sunglasses my whole life, which has made my eyes weak and powerless against the damaging rays of the sun.*

And then as soon as he turned around I would tell you that Gary is a douche.

THE END

*He'd probably also throw in the fact that he has 20/15 vision (which, in case you're unfamiliar with visual acuity measurements, means that he can see from 20 feet away what a normal person would have to move up to 15 feet to see) and then kick you as you're sprawled out on the floor in a puddle of your own tears and inadequacy.