Thursday, March 20, 2014

Warning Shots...Misfired

This kid.


She's been sleeping through the night since she was about a month old, she smiles all the time and she only cries when she's hungry, tired, or needs a diaper change.

I'm not telling you this because I think I've found some secret to having a perfect child - I thank God every day because I realize it's not that way for everyone.

I'm telling you because I've noticed that when people find out I have an easy baby, they feel an overwhelming need to warn me that MY NEXT BABY IS GOING TO BE TERRIBLE.

"She sleeps through the night? Just you wait - your next baby is probably going to spend the entire night screaming and punching you in the throat."

"Oh your baby smiles a lot? Enjoy it now, because your next baby won't be physically capable of smiling; she'll just walk around looking like Ice T during every episode of Law & Order: SVU ever made."

"You say she doesn't cry much? Don't get used to it - the only way to get your next baby to stop crying will be to blast Nickelback's Greatest Hits."

Of course this didn't begin after the baby came.

When I was pregnant, it was, "Enjoy your freedom while you can! Once that baby comes you're gonna have to live in a cage."

And a few years before that, when we announced we were getting a dog, we heard a lot of, "Oh you're getting a dog, huh? Better kiss all your favorite shoes goodbye." 

To be fair, that last one turned out to have a ring of truth to it - but you know what? I'D DO IT ALL AGAIN. I knew when I signed up for this gig that it wasn't going to be easy, and a lot of times it's not, but just because something's hard doesn't mean it's bad.

I just don't think you can go through life in constant fear of whatever horrible thing is coming when your kid turns three ("it's even WORSE than the terrible twos!") or thirteen ("you might as well just lock her up until she's out of high school") or twenty three ("she'll still be living at home, just watching your cable and eating all your cereal!") and come out sane at the other end. You just have to roll with whatever happens and enjoy the (many) good parts.

Speaking of which...


Mom & Dad said...

AMEN to all you wrote. People mean well but have to say something, I guess. Pick more headbands- I really like making them! I will send them one day next week. Love, Marilyn

will said...

We heard them all too. JD Dillender told me to watch out for the hard times but that through all the hard times it never even comes close to the JOY that we get through our little fam. I know I'll never regret spending more time with my kids. EVER. I live by that. Even through diarrhea, colic, fits and tantrums.

Jenny Luning said...

I love this post Emily! Amen to enjoying every minute!