This has really been weighing on my heart, and I thought it was time you all knew something about the Gray family.
I want to preface this by saying that we are good people. We recycle. (Ok we don't recycle but we would if you didn't have to pay extra to do it.)
Let's just get it out there in the open, no more stalling.
Gary and I drink out of the carton. Every day. We started out small, just chocolate milk. It seemed so innocent. But neither of us could have anticipated the thrill that comes with sneaking a sip of that sweet ambrosia. We'd never felt so free, so alive! Over time we moved on to the regular milk carton...and eventually the giant bottle of orange juice.
I know what you're thinking. 'But I've had milk and/or orange juice at your house!!! Am I gonna get swine flu?' The answer is undoubtedly no. First of all, I'm not entirely convinced this 'swine flu' even exists. Sounds like a pretty convenient way to get off work for 3 days if you ask me. Furthermore, if you were to catch anything from our saliva, my guess is it would probably be nothing more than a healthy dose of our good looks and charm, and I think we both know you could use all the help you can get.
WHEW. It really feels good to get that off my chest. Next item on the to-do list: Find a way to gently break it to Gary that I threw away his Reindeer Pooper Scooper t-shirt. I love Christmas as much as the next guy, but honestly, you're a grown man.