This is a super special blog post, because today is my sister’s birthday! Look how pretty she is!
I know! Right now you’re probably wondering, “How on earth is this stone cold fox still single???” (Sarah - I’m sorry
The only reasonable explanation I can come up with is that there are no men in Colorado. (Anybody else suddenly feeling the urge to break out in a chorus of “There Are No Cats in America”? No? Just me? Hm.)
In case any of you are wondering what to get her for her birthday, I’ve prepared a few guidelines that you might find helpful.
-Sarah loves sports. Playing sports, watching sports, talking about sports...especially soccer and football.
-Wanna cook Sarah dinner? Maybe try a little tuna/mushroom/alfredo sauce casserole.
-Sarah’s favorite musicians are Justin Bieber and Jessica Simpson.
-Sarah hates babies and they hate her back.
-Sarah enjoys being kicked in the mouth.
-Sarah only likes boys who wear JNCOs and listen to techno. (This one’s for those of you who were planning on getting her a man for her birthday.)
-Sarah’s favorite movie is Material Girls starring Haylie and Hilary Duff.
-Don’t bother getting her books; Sarah can’t read.
Oh SHOOT! Sorry, that was actually the list of guidelines for buying ME a birthday present. Everyone please hold on to this until January 17th. (It says Sarah so many times because that's my nickname for myself.)
Here’s Sarah’s real list:
-Sarah is too cool for sports.
-Sarah is also too cool for casserole.
-You’ve never heard of Sarah’s favorite musicians because they just came out like this morning.
- Babies and animals love Sarah. She’s kinda like Snow White, but with small children instead of dwarves.
- Sarah does not enjoy being kicked anywhere.
- Sarah likes boys who are awesome and wear vests.
- You’ve never heard of Sarah’s favorite movie either because it’s so deep underground.
- Sarah can read.
- Sarah = Awesome.
That pretty much sums it up.
Happy birthday sister. I love you the most.