I'm the Worst

Me: Ughhh I had SUCH a bad day at work today.

Gary: Oh, I’m so sorry sweetie. I didn’t have a great day either. This guy I work with always talks down to me and treats me like I’m stupid. At this point I’m essentially doing his job as well as my own while he just sits there and barks orders, even though he doesn't have any real authority over me. It’s a really terrible environment to work in. Also I moved about a thousand pounds of pipe today, so I’m really tired. But what happened to you?

Me: Um...nevermind.

Gary: No really, what happened?

Me: Well...they were giving out free ice cream and...all they had was chocolate and...I was really craving vanilla.

See, my job is kinda like sitting on a rainbow with cherubs singing over you as they rub your shoulders and then having an Alaskan Eskimo puppy pedal its little puppy bicycle over to tell you it looks like you’ve lost some weight...but somehow I still manage to forget how good I have it a lot of the time. Gary, on the other hand, does manual labor 50 hours a week for minimal pay with no vacation, no benefits, and an expiration date at the end of the summer. But don’t worry everyone! There is a glimmer of hope in the distance. Soon Gary will finish flight school, and after that his only job will be to be awesome full time, and by “awesome” I mean “a helicopter pilot”.

Well, I'm off to my company picnic. They're probably gonna do something horrible like make me play fun games and eat free food. My life is so hard.