Monday, August 29, 2011

We Are All Destined to Fail

Nice title, don't you think? Yeah, me neither. This morning on our way to work, Sarah and I got behind a car with a bumper sticker featuring those very words in Nickelodeon slime green.

First of all I should tell you that I am absolutely fascinated by bumper stickers. What is the one thing you want every other car on the road to know about you? That your kids are smarter than theirs? You might wanna go for the "My son is on the honor roll" bumper sticker. That you have a slight road rage problem? Try one of the many available variations of, "Nice front bumper you've got there. Shame if something happened to it..."That you can't decide on a religious affiliation so you'd like to choose them all? Slap on a "coexist" sticker. (If you don't live in Colorado, maybe you haven't seen one of these on every other car on the road. They look like this, and they really irk me for some reason. It's like...we are coexisting, are we not? Make a decision, hippie! And WASH YOUR HAIR WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!)

But this guy can't be satisfied by your run-of-the-mill anti-government propaganda or even a slightly distasteful joke about children being a sexually-transmitted disease; no no. He will not rest until he has depressed each and every driver who has the misfortune of sharing the road with him.

Then again, what do I know? Maybe he's actually going for the opposite effect. Maybe he thinks that by suggesting that we are all destined to fail, he'll get everybody riled up enough to SUCCEED!*

*The chances of this being the case are slim to none, but it was worth a shot.

No comments: